Wings lead to downfalls

When it comes to eating well consistently, I irritate myself. For days and days, I will eat well (egg beaters + fruit for breakfast, protein + veggies for lunch and same for dinner, small snacks of fruit and almonds). Then, one "bad meal" leads to total downfall.

Case in point: last Thursday evening. I was out with friends and had "saved" calories for an IPA. IPAs are 200+ calories each and I know light beers are significantly less caloric, but...light beers suck. I'd rather use 200 calories on a good beer. Anyway, I ordered my IPA and was enjoying it. I can't talk as elegantly as John can talk about craft beers, but this beer was delish. Delish is really sufficient enough for any food or beverage description, in my opinion. 

The evening was going fine until...the clock struck 10. Half-price wings, damn it. I only got five wings, which is basically an insult to all wing connoisseur, but five wings is enough to do some damage, calorie-wise. 

Friday night's meal included cheeseburger on pretzel bun (pretzel buns get me every time---they're so gimmicky, but I love them), fries, ice cream, and another IPA. On Saturday, I indulged in Chinese food for lunch, only to find out that John wanted to go out to dinner that night too (we rarely go out to dinner on Saturday nights). So....two meals out on Saturday.

Sunday, I got back on track. Today, I got back on track with food and with the gym. I bought this energy drink that had "serving gauges" on the side so that I did not drink more than one serving. The drink tasted like garbage, mixed with berries, but I "felt" like I could run crazy fast....for three minutes at a time, lol. 

Yesterday, I walked on a treadmill next to a girl who was crazy skinny. One of my thighs equaled two of her legs. She was basically half of me. After being at the gym, I thought to myself, "Hmm...if I had 900 calories a day, I'd be okay...and I'd lose tons of weight." Then, as quickly as that thought entered my mind, it fleeted. 

I just want to fit into more than one fucking pair of pants for work. Agh. 

Fruitcake coma

Current weight: 172

No matter what I do, I can't seem to get my weight to decrease. Using couch to 5k and training, all while eating 1300 or less calories, seemed to do little to get that # down. Everything was completely anti-climactic due to us not being able to attend the actual Ugly Sweater Run (stupid snow).

Today, I had a moment of weakness. It lasted for about 5 minutes, but did 500+ calories worth of damage.

Every Christmas, my mother gets me a fruit cake from Swiss Colony, a company based in Wisconsin. If Wisconsin can do anything correct, its expertise lies in cheese, bratwurst, and other delectable fatty foods. Not surprisingly, Swiss Colony's fruitcakes kick ass.

Fruitcake is a mysterious treat--- a dense bread with jellied fruits and gigantic pecans. I realize that it's full of sugar, but I almost feel like it would be "healthier" to indulge in a burger, fries, and milkshake rather than a slice of fruitcake.

Anyway, within 5 minutes, I ate 1 1/2 servings of the fruitcake (serving size is 1/5 of the cake). I have to admit that it was "stress eating"---the type of eating that really irritates me since it is usually done in a flurry of unawareness.

A few hours later, and I feel dehydrated and sluggish. Things will be better tomorrow, but it is frustrating when I "try" to have healthy habits and see no type of outcome.

Donuts and pumpkin pie, oh my

I've been doing phenomenal with eating and 5k training. During the past two weeks, my average "travel" distance, according to the fitbit, has been 4.5 miles. I've even done some running after school around the soccer field, despite the 32 degree temperature. I've mostly stayed under 1,400 calories too. I've felt energized and happy (with the exception of my 5 day "adventure" with stupidly bright red hair).

Cut to Friday, 11/22 and last night, 11/23. On Friday, we went to Charlie Brown's Steakhouse for dinner. While I ordered a healthy entree, it still brought me past my daily 1,400 calories. Those healthy options on the menu are bullshit. They're still doused with butter and other calories that easily add up. When we got home, I also engulfed two donuts.

Last night, a friend held a pre-Thanksgiving pot luck dinner. While I ate small portions of food for dinner, I also had three beers, a slice of pumpkin pie, and a slice of cheesecake.

Today, I feel kind of crummy. It's amazing how only two days worth of "bad eating" (and I actually did not eat too badly; we're not talking pizza, cheese fries, mozzarella sticks, and other grease-laden foods) could make me feel crummy.

Regardless of how I currently feel, I am making an oath to myself to get to the gym today. I'm on the last day of week 4 in couch-to-5k. It's intervals of running for 5 minutes and walking for 90 seconds. It's challenging, but all I think in my head is: If the people on Biggest Loser can do it, so can I.

Onward ...and downward (pounds-wise)

At this point, for 75+ straight days, I have logged every morsel that enters my mouth. I started couch to 5k awhile ago, but now am actually making progress with it. I am on day 3 of week 2. This is kind of pathetic since I started couch to 5k month(s) ago, but at this point I am actually working out consistently.

My current weight is 174. I "feel" thinner than that though. My true indicator of any type of weight loss, fat less, or toning will be when I actually have more than 2 pairs of pants to wear to work. Right now, I am left with a black pair of pants, a brown pinstriped pair of pants (brown pants, in general, are just dreadful), and numerous elastic-waisted skirts.

Kickball has been going okay. It's amazing how a person could be so many years past an experience (high school gym class about 15 years ago) and then be able to instantly re-live all the emotions from that moment. When in the outfield for kickball, I find myself softly chanting, "Please don't come to me; please don't come to me." When I am up at "bat," I silently try to urge the ball to go far and lower to the ground, but those efforts have only left it to go straight in the air for an immediate pop-up out.

At our most recent game, this past Tuesday, it was as if a glimmer of light and hope descended on the kickball field. One of our opponent's kicked a bar ridiculously upward and far. The guys all around me called the catch, "I got it." I didn't utter a word and just ended up catching the ball. In happiness, I screamed so loudly that my throat hurt a little bit. Luckily, I did catch that ball. Those guys would have been pissed if they called the catch and then I didn't call it, yet also didn't catch the ball either.

Numbers-wise, I feel at a standstill. Physically and mentally though, I feel good and energized. I find myself wanting to constantly move and am truly attempting to move 5 miles a day, according to my Fitbit.

Onward and downward....

Sloooooooooow

I'm eating well. I've logged into MyFitnessPal for 55 days straight. I'm still basically the same weight.

I'm trying though.

I just signed up for two more events in order to surge my physical activity.

Tonight is my first adult kickball league game. I haven't played kickball since 1996. In this current league, pegging (below the head) is allowed. I plan on coming home with some hilarious type of injury.

Additionally, I signed up for a 5k in December. It's called the Ugly Sweater Run. I've NEVER run 3.1 miles at one time. The closest I got was when I was exercising often before the month of my wedding. I was able to run 2 miles at once. 3.1 miles is not impossible; I just need to get past the mental block. If those people on Biggest Loser can do it, so can I. I just wish a monetary prize was at the finish line. 

"Fat" Britney Spears...that's all I want to be. I just read an article about her today that mentioned how digital touch-ups were done to the images of her in the "Work Bitch" video. Side by side, the article showed "fat" before images and "svelte" after images. I'd gladly switch bodies with her and take the "fat" body.

Back on the saddle again....

We went to Tired Hands Brewing yesterday. It's an amazing gastropub. Meal choices are fairly small, but Tired Hands makes its own thick, artisan bread. You can order the bread & pickles platter, but even if you order something else, bread is a staple with every menu choice. We went in a group of four, but let's face it, mainly John and I housed most of the food. I had three 8 oz beers (not too bad), but probably had a half-loaf of bread. It was so amazing though.

Today, I went to the gym and did some intervals of running and walking on the treadmill. At the end of 45 minutes, I had gone 3.25 miles. My face was beet red and the amount of sweat I had could double as hair gel with how it was slicking back my hair.

After my workout, I weighed myself: 180.2 . Agh.

Last Saturday night, we had an end of summer party. The days leading up to the party were filled with minimum 5 mile step days and careful eating of healthy foods. During the course of the party, I ate three cheeseburgers, had 6 or so beers, and had tons of chips. Since the party, i have been "meh" with eating well and exercising.

I SUCK at "falling down" and then immediately getting back up.

With work starting again tomorrow, at least I will be back on a schedule with getting up, eating well, being on my feet, and so on.

Eating well, exercising, and maintaining a healthy weight should not be THIS difficult.

Agh, ugh, and all other mutterings of annoyance

The beginning of summer brings with it people's aspirations to "slim down" for "beach season." I don't have an exact statistic or percentage, but my guess is that a majority of people either stay the same weight or lose a small amount of weight in the summer.

Since I do not work in the summer and also enjoy "sedentary" activities (i.e. reading, doing karaoke, drinking beer, going to garage sales), I tend to pack on some extra pounds during the summer. The other day I had, yet again, a realization: I am fat.

I stepped on the scale at the gym and the number read 180.4. What the hell?! I have not been that weight since high school. I feel like I am somehow carrying the 180 a bit better this time 'round, but still am completely aggravated with myself.

This utter aggravation has arrived at an opportune time. Just last week, we entered 2009 and got smart phones. Immediately, I downloaded the Fitbit, Couch to 5k, and My Fitness Pal apps to my phone. I've been making a strong effort to be at my daily calorie goal or, on some rare days, slightly under the goal. My Fitness Pal is brutally honest. After each day, it tells a message such as, "If you ate this way for 5 weeks, you would be 175 pounds."

This will be a slow process; I am basically back to where I was when I started Weight Watchers in January. Some might tell me to join WW again, but screw that. I can't spend any more time hearing people talk about food.

Today, I have been a lazy fuck and have walked a mere 1044 steps. Off to the park....